Rock Paper Scissors Freeman Vort (RPSFV)

I did not invent this game, but I was inspired enough by Sam Kass's Rock Paper Scissors Spock Lizard and my interest in Valve's game Half-Life to make a variant to Kass's and Bryla's game. Kass "invented [RPSSL] (with Karen Bryla) because it seems like when you know someone well enough, 75-80% of any Rock-Paper-Scissors games you play with that person end up in a tie." The version from Kass and Bryla was a variation of the game that reduced that probability with the addition of Spock and the Lizard. This one uses Dr. Gordon Freeman and a Vortigaunt instead.
How to play: Scissors cuts Paper covers Rock squashes Vort zaps Freeman snaps Scissors stabs Vort tears Paper distracts Freeman crowbars Rock crushes Scissors.
Moves and outcomes.
  Rock Paper Scissors Freeman Vortigaunt
Rock Tie Loss: cover Win: crush Loss: crowbar Win: squash
Paper Win: cover Tie Loss: cut Win: distract Loss: tear
Scissors Loss: crush Win: cut Tie Loss: snap Win: stab
Freeman Win: crowbar Loss: distract Win: snap Tie Loss: zap
Vort Loss: squash Win: tear Loss: stab Win: zap Tie
To determine if you won or lost: select your move from the column and your opponent's move from the row. As suggested by Kass, if you like to swing your fist back and forth while saying "Rock, Paper, Scissors, GO!", you can replace that with "One, Two, Three, GO!".

RPSFV: Copyright © 2023 Anton McClure. (Based on Rock Paper Scissors Spock Lizard by Sam Kass and Karen Bryla.
RPSSL: Copyright © 1995-2021 Sam Kass.
Both RPSSL and RPSFV are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.
Also see the Association for the Annihilation of Paranoids, along with the theories On Pittsburgh Climate, Rock Paper Scissors Spock Lizard, Statistical Disproof of Time Travel, Replacement for "foo", and The Fortwinth System.
Anton McClure / asm@aperture.akron.oh.us